Simply Advent

All the ways I thought I should have been doing Advent over the years and why it turns out not making it perfectly special still gets the job done.

Happy Thanksgiving Week. This whole month has gone by in a blur. I made a change in Real Estate Brokerages after 12 years at the same place. While it went great, it was both a lot of work and a lot of emotional output. I found myself tired, sick and without a lot of words for this space. But I am thankful for the new Brokerage¹, the smooth transition, and the space for my body to fall apart afterward. (Since it was going to even if I didn’t have the space.)

Photo by Stephanie Klepacki on Unsplash

Also this month I have been thankful for Art shows, fall light, meals with friends, new office furniture, the upcoming visit of my sister for the holiday, and my birthday. Yep, I turned 55 yesterday and I am basking in all the newness of my age.² I did indeed wear one of my daughter’s tiaras around the house all day. When she arrived to go out to dinner with us she looked at me and said, “no, I won’t go out to dinner with you wearing that.” Now in my defense I saw 2 other people wearing birthday crowns yesterday, one was about 10 and the other in her 20’s clearly at her party, but truthfully I am not quite extra enough to actually go out in public in a crown so she had nothing to worry about.³

The time between Thanksgiving and the end of the year is about 5 minutes and I have done very little to prepare. And also I feel completely on track. Mostly because I have been simplifying the holidays for a few years and this year in particular I am feeling very festively simple. Simple isn’t doing nothing, simple doesn’t mean it isn’t special, simple isn’t about giving up. It is about doing special things in a way that is manageable for your life. So I have a few decorations I love and I am not worrying about the rest. I sort of don’t want to put up a tree this year. Will report back on what I decide. I will absolutely be playing, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” on Friday⁴ as we drive up to the cabin which the weather forecast is promising will have snow. Who needs to decorate for Christmas when you live in MN? The weather does it for you.

Next Sunday is the first day of Advent and I am finding that although I have done little to prepare for that I am also exactly as ready for it as I have been every year. Sharing a few thoughts on that today.

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

Am I prepared for Advent?

I have been Anglican for 21 years. I had heard of Advent before then and had a few of those calendars where you open boxes of chocolate or other treats but to me it was just a countdown to Christmas. I had no idea what it was or why the church celebrated it. (Do we “celebrate” Advent or partake in it or ??? What is the correct word for what we do in Advent?)

Over the last 21 years I have endeavored to answer the question of Advent for myself and my family. At this point if you asked me I could give you a halfway decent overview of the what and why of Advent. But when it comes to how we personally, as a family participate⁵ (I think this is the word) in Advent each year, I am still trying to figure that out.

Every year the first day of Advent seems to sneak up on me unprepared. It’s a moving date and I never know where it has moved from year to year. I was going to find a fun calendar. I was going to find the perfect bible reading plan for the season, I was going to have family devotions to do together every day and light the candles every day. This year it was going to be special and have meaning and be deep and we were going to live our lives every moment in anticipation of the coming Christ. Waiting with Hope and Peace and Joy and Love for His birth and for His return. It was going to be amazing. But I forgot to plan that and now we are just going to read the short thing from the church on Sundays while one of us makes dinner and the other one, the younger one, complains or asks to leave. We might even forget to do it one or two weeks and the candles will not be burned right. Basically fail at Advent. Frankly some years we did nothing, didn’t even set up the candles, because why bother if you can’t do it well.

This past year I started doing the daily office⁶ from the Book of Common Prayer. I either read them from the app or I listen to a podcast of someone reading them. And as I do this simple, rote practice that is sometimes thoughtful but more often just habitual, I’ve been thinking about the value of the simple. It doesn’t always have to be deep and meaningful. I don’t need to have an emotional experience or spiritual revelation every morning. The secret to daily prayer or weekly advent candle lighting is not in having some great moment every time. It is about the commitment to the task, to entering into the presence of the Lord even just for a moment, it is about taking the time, it is about remembering for a few minutes. And then, getting back to your life because we don’t wait in silence, it is an active waiting and we have a full life.

I have developed one simple Advent practice that accomplishes this task of keeping us aware while we go about our lives. Several years ago I ordered off Etsy some very simple pictures of a wreath with the words Hope, Peace, Love, Joy, the themes for each week, printed in the middle. I hang the corresponding picture in our living room to see throughout the week. There is no ceremony around it but just something to glance at as we go about our daily tasks. Even if we forget to light the candles or do the readings I find time to switch out the picture.

My advent set up. Does that runner need to be ironed? Desperately, will it get done? Maybe.

A couple years ago I found rolled beeswax advent candles on Etsy⁷ (love this place.) I don’t think ahead to order them every year but I did think ahead this year. They are just something to add a little fun. I ordered a set for Riss too. She told me she wants to do the advent candles at her house this season as well. Which means even though I might think I never made advent special for her, my half ass effort and yearly participation in this season has become part of her, part of who she is and how she celebrates this time of year. One of the rituals of her faith journey. So maybe what I did was more meaningful than I thought.

I know in all likelihood she will not light the candles every week. I’m not even sure she will go buy an advent holder and wreath to put them in. (Who are we kidding I will do that for her this week.) But after 21 years of Advent celebrations I am learning it doesn’t matter if she does it perfectly, if her and her roommates do the readings and sing the songs and pray the prayers or if they just let them burn for a moment, look at them and blow them out. Maybe forget and let the first one burn all the way down before the season is over. It isn’t something you do right or wrong, it is just a moment to remember to be waiting and preparing for the coming of the Lord. However you have time and energy to do that.

1. Gold Group Realty is my new work home. I’m not on the website yet but here is the website if you are curious. https://thegold.group/

2. Technically I start telling people I am the next age shortly after John turns the next age, we are only 5 months apart. I really need to start reveling in my youth a little longer. This year I will strive to be 55 for the whole summer and fall and let John be older than me for a couple months.

3. Give me a couple more years. My interest in caring what other people think shrinks each year as my desire to be my own self grows. A few years ago I wouldn’t have even considered it, this year if she had encouraged me instead of discouraging me I might have worn it.

4. And I will absolutely be coming up with a Christmas card/letter plan because I love to do it. It’s not simple but it brings me joy. If you aren’t already on my list and want to get one shoot me your address. I also have noticed that the number of Christmas cards I get is less and less, please bring this practice back, I love getting other people’s as well.

5. I’m literally trying to tell you I have a working understanding of the spiritual practice of Advent and I can’t think of the word we use to talk about what we do. Sigh. I swear I’m smart.

6. Daily payers and scripture readings.

7. Since you still have a week you might be able to get Etsy candles still too! I make no money bossing you to buy fancy advent candles. And I mean if they come a day or two late is that the end of the world? The whole point I am making today is start when you are ready and do what you have time to do.