Exploring Ideas without Hyper-fixating
I am just not that kind of ADHD
The past couple weeks I have had several fleeting thoughts of what I might want to write/share without the time to flesh them out. I am starting to think I need to better utilize my notes app to jot down at least the topics and maybe a brief direction during those moments so when I have a day like today I know what it is I wanted to write about. Hopefully they will come back to me and you can enjoy those thoughts. In the meantime a few random thoughts.
Today I am thinking about journaling, the theme of my month as I foster my imagination this year. But not specifically about journaling. I am actually thinking about Christ Bailey who wrote the book, “The Productivity Project”. In it he spends a year practicing various productivity measures in an attempt to become the most productive man in America. As I recall during one interview that is how he was billed. So for instance he wondered how meditation affected productivity and meditated every single day for a month while keeping track of his progress. He tried various scheduling methods, concentration methods, etc. It was his entire hyper focused project for an entire year. And a good read if you want to explore those methods without turning it into a year long research project1.
And God bless him and his non ADHD2 brain from staying on task for an entire year. Every month that I have endeavored to explore a different part of imagination I have started out thinking about how I was going have a purposeful focus on the topic for an entire month. I will sit in silence each day, I will read a dozen books, I will take an art class and draw something each day, I will try a new thing every day, I will write a story every day, I will come up with a new question for each day…And every month I have certainly given thought and time to each one, but also I have lived my life and forgotten the plan probably 75% of that month. Does it still count? That is the question I am asking myself today. We are all fascinated by the guy who decides to live biblically every day for one year3 and writes a best seller to tell us about it, but do I really need to lock in and explore a topic every single day in order to notice the benefits and share what I am learning along the way?
If your answer is yes then you should probably just scroll to the next substack. This is not your place, I am not your people.
I am glad there are people who can hyper focus on a topic but I am not one of them. And for many years I tried to be, thought I should be, wanted to be the person who locked in and got things done, became the expert in a topic. In our culture that person is held up as the ideal, how we all should be. But the truth is I like to do things to a point and then I am off to the next thing. I actually do not have the patience or desire to be an expert in anything. There is no risk of me becoming a PhD. With so many different ideas to explore how would I ever be able to stay on topic long enough to become an expert in just one?4 I am a generalist, the person with “101 unrelated facts.” This is actually what my dad says about himself. Apparently it is genetic.
So this month I have been journaling, but not every day. I have been trying various types of journals, but not all of them. I have been thinking about it and will have thoughts at the end of the month (more if I start using my notes app better) but I am taking a breath to remind myself it is OK that I am not journaling every single day, that my life is not revolving around this project and that I am fostering my imagination this year exactly the way I need it for my lifestyle and my processing. This won’t be my last year of fostering imagination but the likelihood that I won’t become fascinated with something else next year is basically zero. The fact that I have even stayed focused on imagination for half a year is somewhat unprecedented and I think it is because I have given myself grace all year to not be perfect but to enjoy at my pace and with my focus the exploration.
What do you think? Are you the lock in and hyper focus on a topic sort of person, an expert on a few topics? Or a generalist like me who knows a little about a lot and can’t stop wondering about the next thing?
We can do things by ourselves, but why?
Last week my husband was in North Carolina with our youth group. It was 6000 degrees every day with 200% humidity. Even the locals thought it was hot. John had a great time and all the kids thought he was amazing. He tells great stories and knows how to do a lot of stuff. Since the kids were tasked with fixing up a neglected summer camp that had fallen into disrepair since the hurricanes went through a few years ago his skills were very much in demand.
It was the longest we have been apart in our marriage a far as we can remember5. One week. Not long in the big picture but since neither of us travel for work there has just never been a reason to be apart for an extended period of time. We did survive but I was glad to have him home. One week of being an independent woman and taking out my own trash is an adventure, 2 weeks is completely unnecessary.
I did have a great time at the cabin by myself for a couple days. I rode the 4 wheeler (although I did call Riss to figure out how to start it…), went on a hike, fed myself and just generally enjoyed the alone time. Definitely will go again sometime. He does work every 3rd weekend…he wouldn’t even miss me.
Random Health Info:
I am meeting with a doctor soon to talk about getting my gallbladder out. Pros and cons but it is probably happening. At my one year after surgery appointment I mentioned to my doctor some symptoms I was still occasionally having that I thought might be related to my liver blood clot as they seemed to be in the same area. She ordered blood tests but also suggested it might be gallbladder and I should get an ultrasound. Initially I was going to skip the tests because I was feeling fine that day and when I feel fine I think I am going to feel fine forever and I am just over reacting to what was a minor issue. A week later I messaged while not feeling fine and asked her to order the tests. Turns out I have gallstones. But again, I was feeling fine the day I found out so I was going to tackle this problem naturally. And I have done all the natural things and I do enjoy the natural process. And also, my body has not cared at all and my symptoms continue to persist and seem to be getting worse.
Why am I telling you this?
Much of what I share is sort of me processing and sharing what I am processing. And in this case, as I have shared medical stuff, I have had a specific thought going around in my head the last month. I spent all of my 20’s suffering without an endometriosis diagnosis, I spent all of my 30’s and 40’s doing everything I could to manage it naturally. To a decent degree I was successful in that and to a degree I was constantly managing issues. But ultimately I was not healing my body just delaying the need for intervention. And what was apparent after my surgery is that I probably delayed too long. So as I begin this same road with my gallbladder I have been asking myself, how long is too long? What is the over-under on managing your gallbladder attacks before you have crossed the line and are miserable for no reason? It is a question I will explore with probably every medical issue I have the rest of my life and maybe finally the right question to be asking. I love natural medicine, I have seen it help in amazing ways. I think God created our bodies to heal themselves if we take care of them well. And I think God gave us modern medicine and doctors who can help us enjoy life in ways past generations never could. We do not need to suffer needlessly. So, I can get out my gallbladder and take digestive enzymes when needed. Feel good and move on with my life. The both/and approach to my health.
The end.
https://chrisbailey.com/the-productivity-project/
He has written other books as well, variations on the theme. One called “Hyper Focus” could be interesting. Maybe would help me be more like him?
Is this really just another manifestation of ADHD? Probably yes. Everything seems to be ADHD these days.
https://ajjacobs.com/books/the-year-of-living-biblically/
book about a guy who follows all biblical rules for one year. Haven’t read it just about it. Interesting to think about.
I’m that kind of ADHD whatever kind that is.
The actual longest we were ever apart was 91 days when I spent 1 semester at a college in Virginia. He drove down with a ring and I did not return the second semester.